It’s hard. Trying to be “on” all the time takes an enormous amount of effort — something I truly can no longer give at this point in the pandemic. While others are already seeing the end of the tunnel, Filipinos are still left stuck but scrambling. I don’t know how anyone can willingly choose to do anything and everything at this point, except in an effort to distract themselves from the direness of our collective situation.
Here’s what I’m doing instead:
I’m choosing my battles
I’m still doing what I can. The house still gets cleaned though the hours it’s messy are longer. I’ve come to terms with that, though. There’s only so much I can do. I’m thinking of making a cleaning calendar but I don’t worry myself too much about it.
I still perform well at work. I’ve broken my boundary about not working past 6pm a couple of times so I’m working on that again.
I’m still trying to make time for my family, though this is admittedly the thing I need to work on the most. I’m just trying not to be mean to myself. I’m doing what I can.
I’m trying to be better at resting
We’ve been conditioned to believe resting is bad; you should always be tired because of doing something. Resting is doing something! It gives your body, mind and heart time to recuperate. I always feel guilty about taking time off during the weekends. Surely, I must do something. Last Saturday was the first in a long while I did nothing except watch YouTube videos. I felt a bit bad but I reminded myself that I deserved it.
I’m reassessing what matters
The pandemic has made me feel both pressed for time to do the things I’ve always wanted to accomplish and just spending time with family. To sum, I just feel like I don’t have enough time — the world could end tomorrow. I’m using the time I’m not nagging myself for not being able to do as many things as I could and the time I’m doing projects to just be with my family. I have a long way to go when it comes to mindfulness; it’s still my number one goal in life, but I’m consciously trying to get better at it. I still want to pursue my dreams, but maybe it’s okay to just pause right now — and that’s okay.
How about you? How have you been dealing with your productivity goals?
I love the new layout.
Anyway, I feel like this pandemic brought me through so many cycles of different thoughts and emotions. Right now, I seem productive, but really I feel more like I’m just distracting myself or finding something I can control.
Thanks!! I agree. I think when I was productive, I was just distracted myself cos we can’t go out and travel. But now, I don’t know. I feel like we’re all just gonna die, thanks to our government so bahala na lang.