July Is My January

As far as this site goes, July is January. Feeling giddy and overwhelmed with excitement, I bought the domain for this sometime in July three or four years ago. It was a move I thought was the beginning of something big. Fast forward to now and it feels incredibly insensitive — foolish, even — to want anything big (or anything at all).

We’re in the middle of a pandemic, and though life did not stop from moving because of it (perhaps merely paused), it feels strange to think about the future. Your government wanting to stifle your freedom does not help with envisioning a life beyond coping and getting by either. The quarantine, I think, has finally gotten to me no matter how much of a homebody I am. I’m trying to look for a bright light but I taste fear.

July is my January. I’d get a bill for this domain’s renewal should I not cancel it. Renew? Part of me wants to shut this thing down and start something new — for what, though, I’m not sure. But a bigger part of me values all the stories I’ve told and avenues that were opened because of this space. So this will remain alive, for how long I’m not sure. I can’t promise, at least right now, to dream of and make something big here. (Let’s talk about my inhibitions about sharing my life — or anything on the internet some other time.) But July is my January. Here’s to starting… again.